Spank the MONKEY!!!!

[Tydd]

http://www.vectorlounge.com/04_amsterdam/jam/flamjam.html

A good minute or so of entertainment.

[Amberryl]

my record is 122 mph =  )))

[Axecleaver]

Wheee, 135

[Rosslyn]

224 MPH, baby!

woot!

um, should I be bragging about being the best monkey spanker so far?

[Rosslyn]

holy cow, 393 mph.  My productivity has gone to hell today.

[Tydd]

Wow Ross.  You can spank my monkey any day...

hmmm...That sounds way wrong.

[Noreen]

554 mph.  woot the optical mouse exploit

[Tydd]

FU Ross.  Noreen's my new Monkey spanker.  Come here baby.

[Caohmin]

559, Baby!!!

Who wants some monkey love!

Caohmin

[Rosslyn]

I watched someone at work actually get 800 even, so I backed away very slowly...

[Lifesbane]

haha, 643!
its sad that i figured out how to cheat one the 3rd try...you can tell how i think

perfet score every time!

[Caohmin]

//begin rant

Well, it finally happened. The cheaters have ruined Spank the Monkey. The game we came to love is falling apart, right before our eyes. What once was a fine and challenging game has turned into a haven for 'sploiters. The official boards are on fire with "cheaters suck!" and "legits are n00bie wussies!" posts, only without the punctuation, spelling and grammar.

Cheaters are flaunting their top speeds in the faces of the legits, who, because they're not cheating have much lower top speeds. This has created a jealously of sorts in the legit camp, a kind of "speedies envy," if you will.

But I don't blame the cheaters. I blame the Devs. They were told during beta about the "behind the monkey" exploit, but they ignored it and went live with the game anyway. In spite of all our bug reports and all the "it's not fixed...again" posts on the dev boards the game shipped and now they are scratching their collective, pre-simian heads, wondering "Eep! Eep! How did that glaring hole in our game design get through testing?" The devs aren't apes like they claim, they're jackasses! And now people are posting impossible speeds!

Now Ross, I'm not saying your buddy is a cheater, but c'mon, 800mph? No way any monkey got spanked *that fast,* it's just not humanly possible to move your mouse that fast unless he used the exploit. The top speed during beta was reported (by the devs, I might add) at 782. We are to believe that someone beat the beta record by nearly 20mph? On his first day playing the game?!

I'm sorry, but that is a bit much to swallow. Now if he's using some sort of trackball-type mouse, then ok, I'll believe he got 800. Very high top speeds have been posted with trackballs.

The Spank the Monkey community has been polarized and all the devs can say is, "It's working as intended." My monkey's @$$ it's working as intended; it's broken and they know it and this is just some spin-doctor spew, fed to the unwashed masses of monkey slappers. Do they think we're going blind or something?

I just hope when they patch it, they don't "throw in a monkeywrench"and screw something else up, but with their track record... No doubt the server will be brought down for an "emergency patch" right when I'm in mid-spank, thus breaking immersion and rendering that attempt a waste. I'm just not going to play that day.

Oh yeah, they'll say they're sorry and something like,
*spanks forehead!*
"Man, we sure didn't see that coming!"

//end rant

Spanks for listening. =)

Caohmin

[Axecleaver]

omg cao, I'm on a conference call trying not to laugh...

[Frrom]

I hit 489 somehow, dunno how, all others were <170  suddenly got bored, lol

[Rosslyn]

lol!

Caoh, thanks for making me clean Coke off my monitor!