Sex Quotes

[Bolldar Bloodaxe]

 "Having sex is  like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,    you'd better  have a good hand."      Woody  Allen
 
  

 
"There are a number of mechanical devices which  increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.   Chief among  these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."    
Lynn  Lavner  
 
 
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with  a rope."      Camille  Paglia      
 
 
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation.   The  other eight are unimportant."       George  Burns  
 
 
"Women might be able to fake orgasms.   But  men can fake a whole relationship." Sharon  Stone      
 
 
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is  a sport for black men. Golf  is a sport for white men dressed like black  pimps."      Tiger  Woods      
 
 
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a  son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

"Clinton  lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never  forgets oral sex,  no matter how bad it  is."      Barbara  Bush  

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning  to rip out a man's  genitals through his wallet."      Robin  Williams      
 
 
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need  a place."     Billy  Crystal    
 

"According to a new survey, women say they feel  more comfortable undressing in  front of men than  they do  undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too  judgmental, where, of course, men are just  grateful."    Robert  De Niro

 
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are  reporting that many  men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They  say they cause severe swelling. So  what's the problem?"      Dustin  Hoffman    
 
 
"There's very little advice in men's magazines,  because men think,   'I  know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."      Jerry  Seinfeld      
 
 
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain  and a penis, and  only enough blood to run one at a  time."    
Robin  Williams  
 
 
" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've  forgotten who ties up whom."    
Joan Rivers    
 
 
" Sex is  one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural  experiences money can buy."     Steve Martin      
 

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school  until you get older.   Little  things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged  woman.   Stuff  you pay good money for in later life."     Elmo  Phillips      
 

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy  is the same."     Oscar  Wilde

 
" It isn't premarital sex if you have no  intention of getting married."    

George  Burns

[Lifesbane]

lol funny stuff

[Amberryl]

that barbara bush quote was just too funny lol

[Lifesbane]

lol bump, just cuz of the valentine's day spirit thats going around the boards