As a side note, are kids now smarter than we were at that age? One of the kids makes a joke about Zeus and the Acropolis, ffs.
Though now that I think about it, when I was in elementary school, I was pretty big into greek mythology and would have gotten that joke. I wouldn't have been sarcastic and self-aware enough to make the joke, but I digress.
Tim: What just happened?
John: Ah, you're trapped forever!
Brian: This is sad.
Tim: Why did my head just get farther away? I can't get out.
Kirk: Maybe you should try to go over those dark green things.
Tim: I'm trying. I don't know how.
John: He's using his E.T. powers! What does this have to do with the movie? I don't remember the parts where E.T. falls into pits and makes his neck longer .
Kirk: Quit falling into the stupid pit, you piece of s***!
Tim: Can I stop now?
Brian: This controller's crap; you need to sit on top of the TV to play.
[An icon appears in the pit]
John: Yay! You got a thing.
EGM: What did you get?
John: A backwards C?
Brian: Reese's Pieces? Am I in a different pit this time?
[Ten minutes later, Brian escapes the pit]
Tim: Whoa, someone has you!
John: It's a lady.
Tim: No it's not. Her hair is E.T.
Sheldon: No! No! Not E.T.! Kill! Kill! Kill E.T.! Glock E.T.!
John: This game is so confusing.
Kirk: No wonder it's the worst ever.
Brian: A flower grew!
Kirk: Piss on it.
Tim: Oh lookit's a dork!
[Points to Elliott on the screen]
John: He put himself inside your body. He bestowed his life force upon you.
Tim: [Points to lava lamp on TV stand] That thing's more interesting.
John: Yeah, let's watch the lamp. It's more fun and less predictable.
Tim: E.T. is unpredictable: You never know when you'll fall into a pit or when a kid is gonna enter your body I mean use your skin as his own.
Nico: Didn't they bury this game in Mexico or something?
Gordon: Is that a woman?
Becky: It's Zeus. He's taking you away to the Acropolis.
Andrew: The point of E.T. is to see how bad they can piss you off...
Nico: before you turn it off.
Becky: Maybe another movie company that didn't want you to like E.T. made this game.
Andrew: Yeah, it was some sort of corporate sabotage.
Sheldon: Hurry, make him die!
Gordon: Please.
[E.T. finally diesgeneral clapping and hurrahs]
Andrew: Eeeeeteeeee phone home.
My favorites
(Pong)
Tim: My line is so beating the heck out of your stupid line. Fear my pink line. You have no chance. I am the undisputed lord of virtual tennis. [Misses ball] Whoops.
(Space Invaders)
Kirk: I'm sure everyone who made this game is dead by now.